critiques and observations

"the rum was like soy sauce. I'm serious. my cuba libre was fucking kikkoman and coke."

"their bean burritos taste like cat pee smells... kinda musty, kinda tangy."

"I generally don't have that much faith in the current justice system. I feel like 'justice' tends to be more about who has the better salesman."

"I'm going to poop a baby."

"there were a lot of hot older ladies in vancouver. we started calling it 'vancougar.'"