rhodes retread - part 1

the other day, out of an extreme and overwhelming desire to be annoyed, I accepted an opportunity to speak at my old junior high. with my low threshold for frustration, one would expect to find me snatching saggy trousered twits and breaking the brats across my knee in no time. being immersed in this particular brand of idiocy on a near constant basis, however, I have developed a bit of tolerance for it. this combined with the euphoric effects of intaking a couple hundred milligrams of caffeine every few hours made the situation a bit more bearable-- even to the point of inspiring a bit of nostalgia and introspection.

the kids were at an age where their personalities and identities were emerging-- mostly either buying whole-heartedly into mtv culture or being strictly molded by their parents. you could see the developing seeds of future yuppies and mean girls and misogynistic males, natural born leaders, diligent drones and, of course, the outcasts. between students, there was a constant unconscious social experimentation; near pavlovian tests of which actions garner attention, affection, rejection and disapproval. the hallway was a zoo of screaming, strutting, laughing, posturing and parading that reminded me in many ways of some of the clubs I've been in.

as I wandered around and marvelled at how the school had at once changed so much and yet so little, I wondered about the roots of my own self, my own identity. what shaped me? what was my method of experimentation?

I found myself in the social studies department during one of my breaks.

of all the teachers I've ever had, I think my 7th grade social studies teacher liked me the least. I wasn't disrespectful or disruptive or anything like that. no, the problem was that a good friend of mine at the time was remarkably adept at making assorted gadgets to launch small objects and I had no qualms about testing these gadgets during class.

the class was fairly big (30+ kids) and excruciatingly slow, even by public school standards. we sat in opposite corners of the classroom, basically wallowing in our boredom until we devised a way to shoot messages at each other silently and effortlessly. this worked astonishingly well (usually leaving us in fits of giggling) until one misfire made a note punctuate the sentence my teacher was writing on the board. my gadget was confiscated (and may I add, marvelled for its engineering prowess) and I was let off with a roll of the eyes.

clearly, our text-messaging system needed some tweaking.

I found side projects like this infinitely more interesting than lessons about how the pilgrims invented the indians and so forth. as such, I spent my time doodling schematics instead of copying sections out of the textbook or even listening to the teacher. given that I understood the material and I was within a few points of setting the curve on every single test, I felt that the homework was unnecessary. I didn't bother doing a 400 point "project packet" I considered to be "stupid retarded." with all the time in class to work on our designs, my friend and I managed to reinvent the messaging system with some fishing line, hooks and paperclips. I finished that quarter feeling like I had accomplished something.

that feeling only lasted until the report card came.

continued next week