get a life, you degenerate hippie

I'm sure many of you have mothers like mine. My mother flips out whenever I mention the mere possibility that friends hinted at a passing interest in coming over. Suddenly, the house becomes this embarrassing shit-hole that must be cleaned up right away. Nevermind that just a moment before, we were happily mucking about watching American Idol in our embarrassing shit hole. Nevermind that most of us are too busy living interesting lives to wonder about what an atrocity we live in. Nevermind that the by-product of interesting lives is sometimes necessarily strewn about from the living room up to the bed rooms because of sheer absent-mindedness and / or laziness. Nevermind all of that. Years of indoctrination trained me to believe that I lived in shameful squalor, but only when friends were about to visit.

This is in some way connected to why I'm posting right now.

A couple more people found out about the site. They'll be arriving shortly to replace, but subsequently join the legions who have come to understand the futility of checking the site regularly. In the meantime, I feel like there should be some content to greet them. something akin to trying to delude friends that I don't actually live in a sty, I guess this content is an attempt to delude new readers that this site isn't completely devoid of anything of interest. So, here is content in all its brilliance. It's a stretch, but we'll see how it works out.

Given no subject to write about, I usually touch on a little topic I call "the fucking hell I'm up to." Unfortunately, with no job, no school, no girlfriend and no jobless, schooless, and girlfriend-less friends, most of what I've been up to can be summed up with a single word.

Dick.

Should be a short post. (Here at blinkingtwelve, we like to slather the innuendo on pretty thick.) But contrary to popular belief, dicking around upwards of 90 hours a week takes quite a bit of planning. Keeping myself busy until friends get off work, bothering groups of friends in shifts so no one group gets too annoyed with me, hitting different coffee shops at different times of the day so the employees and regulars don't catch on to the fact that I actually have absolutely fucking nothing to do, and good lord, finding enough things to do to stay busy but nothing that takes too much work-- heaven forbid I get so bored that I'm forced to find another job-- this is all very complicated, and yet I rarely ever get any sympathy for all the effort I exert to keep myself properly entertained.

How do I do it? Mostly through your standard means of wasting time; sleeping too much, reading, watching healthy amounts of tv, driving from location to location during rush hour, exploring new coffee shops and bookstores, watching an ungodly number of movies, hunting for CD's, bothering friends, being a mallrat, etc. Ultimate frisbee league has started up, so practices and games take up a few days a week. I also just joined a gym, so all that running around doesn't make me any more scrawny than I already am. Shih-tzin giggles kinda stuff. Outside of all of this, I've been hanging with a friend at his work for rigorous four-hour sessions of Halo about every other day. (My friend works in a store people rarely go into, in a mall people rarely visit. Somehow, he manages to get paid upwards of $12 / hr....) I figure that as long as I'm unemployed, I might as well be developing a skill.

All these activities break up the monotomy of a regular week, but they aren't really enough to tide me over for the long term. Thankfully, I've had a few other things come up to break up the months. I flew to Denver, met up with my sister, bought and took her car. The fun part was I got about a fifteen minute lesson on how to drive stick and had to wing it back home after a few days of being snowed in. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine pointed out that being as to how I wasn't doing anything at all, I might as well be an advisor for a camp. I ended up spending much of the week telling high school kids to shut the hell up and things of that nature. Coming up on the radar, there looks to be a few out of state ultimate frisbee tournaments, I still have a stash of stuff in Chicago that I need to figure out what to do within the next month or so, I promised some east coast friends that I'd be out to visit and in a few months, I need to house-sit for a friend of mine who happens to live in paradise.

So the bulk of my time is spent chillin'. This is perhaps how I give most people the impression that I am a complete fucking waste of space. During conversations people often search my face imploringly for some semblance of a higher desire or drive or some impression that I'm looking to get on with my life... whatever the fuck that all means. People get this look bordering on desperation whenever I shrug in response to the words "career" or "grad school." More and more they scrunch their raised brows at me in a way that says, "Fucking Christ, you couldn't possibly be this shallow, could you?"

Of course not. But, I've rambled on for long enough about how I waste my time. How I existentially redeem myself will be the subject of another post.