trials of the unpopular

"...That summer, I saved my wages from the Wienerschnitzel and in the fall I studied the Wal-Mart circulars. As I looked at the clothes, I asked myself if the popular kids would wear those socks, shirts, that athletic supporter and back brace. I went out and blew my money, and for the first time, I felt really cool. I had the jackets, pants and Sketchers like they did. I spent hours in front of the mirror in my bedroom, admiring myself for finally figuring out how to get in with the in-crowd and have sex with girls. By the first day of school, I was pretty God damn sure I'd be humping a cheerleader by lunchtime, and not in the geometry classroom. Maybe the physics lab."

"Sadly, I learned what every unpopular kid with a few bucks to spend eventually learns (except the ones who later became screenwriters): that as long as I slavishly tried to imitate the cool kids, I would be a loser. Sure I had the same clothes and I aped the attitude of the popular kids, but for some reason they didn't hang from my 6'5", 153-pound frame as naturally as they did for the others. I reeked of desperation. I also reeked of body odor, but you know, that's one of those things you don't know yourself until a loved one has the courage to mention it."

from the Filthy Critic's review of XXX